THE OTHER DAY I CRIED IN PUBLIC

which is a very different thing to do if you're living in a city where nobody knows who you are. you don't have to worry about someone recognizing you or awkwardly running into you. so i felt the need to cry and it was at night so it was dark. i sat on some stairs close to the Chinatown sky train station and let it come out. people walking by were further away and couldn't really see or hear me. only one guy was sort of close but he was smoking pot and eating McDonald's and didn't concern himself with me. it felt nice. not having to hold it in while sitting on the train then walking down a crowded street till finally i reach my house and release. no. i released when i felt the need to. outside in the fresh air. in a dark corner i sat with my latte cried and then i sat for a while longer. felt better. composed myself and boarded the train home. the upside of being a ghost. i got home and looked in the mirror. there was a piece of Kleenex stuck to the inside corner of my right eye. funny.

Day 22--TINO

Been in Vancouver 3 weeks now. Got a job. a room. a bed. a cat. pretty good. i've begun a relationship with Tino the barber. today was my second visit to his shop. which is always empty. he charges me 5 dollars to shave the side of my head and clean up the little hairs on the back of my neck. he doesn't say much. in fact he only speaks when spoken to. in that much silence i begin to imagine what he must think of me. i have a half shaved head. i'm wearing dr. martins, tights, a military jacket and a duffle bag. i look like lesbian rambo. at the end of our time together when i paid him and gave him a two dollar tip he was just a little bit kinder in his goodbye than on my first visit. i wonder if down the line i might even have a conversation with him.